Change

As a child I imagined people became "grown ups" about the time they turned 20. By the time they were 30, they were surely all "jelled" into maturity and that was that. At 56, I'm finding I'm neither "jelled" nor mature, but rather in a state of "godly discontent." My life is in a good measure already "spent," and I'm thinking how to wisely spend the these years left to me. All this is wrapped up with some reading I've been doing, "The Prodigal God" (Tim Keller), "Unchristian" (David Kinnaman) and the Bible. It has to do with recognizing my sin and God's enormous mercy, with what is real and eternal, with people all around me-- more than I can explain (or want to explain) in a blog post. I was reading a decorating magazine a while back that featured the beautifully understated home/garden of a gray haired woman in Marin County. She had a dictionary opened to the word "Change" in her living room, a reminder to grow/change. It doesn't seem an easy task at 56, but God is calling me to do that as well.